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| So, I've been trying to figure out where I fit in the world.
I think I figured out that I don't fit anywhere...
I get up early. I go to work at a job that I don't really like but that pays pretty well. I come home tired. And convince myself that my life is never going to go in the direction I want it to. Then I convince myself that there's nothing I can do about it right now. But I guess I might as well still go to work tomorrow. Then I go to sleep late.
Repeat.
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| I am confused by people my age who are buying houses and working full time jobs and settling down. Doesn't anyone else out there feel the need to sell all your belongings and trek across southeast asia? Seriously. If I had the money lying around to buy a house, I'd spend it backpacking around Europe. Am I right?
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| It is 11:50 at night and I should most certainly be asleep by now.
You see I have to work tomorrow. It's my third day at my oh so sweet internship and they say that they finally have work for me to do. So I need to be awake and alert tomorrow.
Instead I sit and code away at a flash cards program that would be cool if I actually put in all the hours needed to make it cool, but which I will probably abandon before it is useful at all. This little program I'm writing is really serving only as a time waster right now. There's absolutely no reason for it. And yet, I can't tear myself away.
Maybe because it's more fun than what I envision tomorrow being.
Sitting in a little cube.
All day.
Trying to at least do something. Waiting for five. Most likely not eating lunch because I don't have the energy to go get any.
I'm convinced that there's a way to make going to work NOT boring and tiring as all hell. I just haven't figured it out yet.
Any suggestions?
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| For at least the past week, I have been waking up, every day, at EXACTLY 9:30. Without fail. I wake up at 8am, and think, nope, I'm still tired, going to sleep more. Wake up a little later, think, ok I'm rested enough now, look at the clock. Yep, 9:30. Whaddaya know. It's WEIRD.
I'm out of coffee. This is a bit of an emergency.
Eric left this morning. For LA. Again.
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| List. Of summer type things to do.
- I would like to learn the things I should have learned as a Math undergrad, and take the Math GRE, as some sort of a proof that I know something about math... aside from the time element, this can hardly be argued against, if I do in fact plan on going into CS and being good at it. As far as the time element goes, better to do this now when I have time than once I've started research in grad school. And better to do it now in the summer while I have time before I have to apply to graduate schools.
- To this end, I am learning LaTeX. With the first goal of being able to write a nice outline when studying for the math GRE. The second being, it seems like a good thing to know.
- I would like to learn the things I should have learned as a Physics undergrad, and take the Physics GRE, as some sort of a proof that I know something about physics... This has less of an argument than the math does. But people are always asking me physics questions - on account of I have a physics degree. And I can't answer them - on account of I didn't learn anything.
- I would like to spend some time learning a LOT about AI. I think that of all the areas of CS, AI is one that I could become interested in. At first glance, automatic theorem proving and first order logic seems very interesting to me. I should learn more, then become excessively passionate about it, and pursue it as if it's the only thing in the world I want.
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